


Moth to a Flame

by strayglass



Category: Death Note (Live Action TV)
Genre: (pun fully intended), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Developing Relationship, First Meetings, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Pre-Canon, death note but lawlight meet before the kira case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:56:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29433489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strayglass/pseuds/strayglass
Summary: “I wish we could have met in some other way.”Months before the Kira case, Yagami Light goes to a concert and meets the enigmatic Ryuuga Hideki. Ryuuga uses a fake name, speaks cryptically about his work, and makes it clear that he is only staying in Japan for no longer than a month.Despite this, the two boys gravitate toward each other, bound by mutual interest and an eagerness for something new. Light is certain that their relationship won’t last; they are bound to part ways and never cross paths again.But maybe fate would decide otherwise.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 22
Kudos: 67





	Moth to a Flame

**Author's Note:**

> L in episode 9: “i wish we could have met in some other way.”
> 
> my brain: fuck it let’s write some death note fic in the year 2021
> 
> happy valentine’s day! thank you as always to @aelythroes for beta-ing, despite never having read any llight fics before <3 ilysm
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **edit:** the lovely [@billspilledquill](https://archiveofourown.org/users/billspilledquill) has made two beautiful pieces of art inspired by this fic! check them out [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1qInw7abgEHP1O8dSMJbq3ufl8svczWGb/view) and [here](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1Rn7gvM9EqWPl5LDxDCkYNRT8ajahBtnX/view).

The first time Light met Ryuuga, he had decided to celebrate a month’s worth of shifts at the pub by attending his very first concert. 

Kamoda, of course, took him to see Ichigo Berry. He even insisted on tagging along with Light to the supermarket and buying a pack of glowsticks – exclusively neon pink for Misa Misa. 

The concert itself proved to be a decent experience. Ichigo Berry’s discography wasn’t too extensive, so Light found it relatively easy to sing along with the other concert-goers. He liked the feeling of unity that swept over the audience – teenagers and young adults, bonding over a shared love for music. 

What he didn’t like, however, was the sheer number of people gathered in a single place. Light didn’t understand how anyone could feel comfortable surrounded by a sea of glowsticks and sweat. So when the concert ended and Ichigo Berry made their way to their private car, Light stayed where he was and watched a throng of adoring fans flock to the singers.

“Not one for crowds?” said a voice from behind him, and Light turned around.

Equally averse to the phenomenon unfolding in front of them was a boy who looked around Light’s age. His disheveled hair was jet-black and contrasted starkly with his all-white outfit, making him look like a raven swaddled in tissue paper.

Light felt curiously drawn to him.

“Not really,” he said. “Concerts aren’t really my thing, either.”

“I’m not surprised. You don’t look like someone who’d go to concerts a lot.” The boy extended a hand. “Ryuuga Hideki.”

Light shook it. He felt metal against his fingers and realized that Ryuuga had two rings on his right hand. The first was a thick silver band on his index finger. The second, on his fourth finger, was a gold loop with a flat, circular centerpiece that – judging from the vibrant patterns of cream, black, and coral red – had to be inlaid with colored marble.

That was pretty cool. “I’m Yagami Light. Uh, when you say Ryuuga Hideki, do you mean like the pop singer?”

“One and the same,” said Ryuuga with a teasing smile. He was obviously lying, but Light didn’t know why he felt the need to – or, more interestingly, why he wasn’t even trying to do it well. “Though I’m not a big fan of pop music.”

“But you’re at an Ichigo Berry concert.”

Ryuuga dipped his head in concession. “Touché. It’s been a while since I visited Japan and I wanted to see what normal twenty-somethings get up to here.”

“‘Normal twenty-somethings’? What do you mean?”

“Maybe I’ll tell you if we meet again.” Ryuuga gave Light a cryptic smile. “That’s enough about me for now. Are you a student, Yagami-san?”

And that was how they traded little pieces of themselves as the sun sunk into the horizon. Yes, Light was a student; Ryuuga, surprisingly, had heard of the university he attended, and what did he want to do after he graduated? Light admitted that he wasn’t too sure, but enrolling in the government’s civil service program didn’t sound too bad. Oh, where did he live? Only a walk away, a route one could easily trace on the lines of train directories.

Ryuuga hummed, seeming oddly satisfied with that answer. “That’s an interesting way of putting it, Yagami-san.” In return, he told Light he lived in Europe, though he didn’t specify which country. 

Whenever Light tried to probe further into Ryuuga’s work life, Ryuuga would send him that mysterious smile and dodge the question with such grace that Light knew he’d had some sort of formal training on withholding information.

Ryuuga was interesting. Light had no doubts about that. Unfortunately, Misa Misa and her posse were long gone, and Light could hear Kamoda calling his name somewhere in the distance.

“Your friend?” asked Ryuuga, following his line of sight. 

“Yeah, we need to go back soon.”

“That’s a shame; I enjoyed talking to you. Do you want to exchange numbers?”

Light tilted his head to the side instinctively, unused to such forwardness – particularly from someone he’d never met before. It should have bothered him, but instead, it fascinated him. “Yeah, I – I’d like that.”

Ryuuga rummaged through his trouser pocket before pulling out a piece of paper. He beckoned Light to come closer, which Light did, and the two boys looked at the paper together. “I have five phones, but I don’t remember the purpose of each one.”

With a casual sigh, as if five-phone problems were an everyday occurrence, Ryuuga handed the list of numbers to Light. “As I’m sure you can tell, I lack an active social life. Try calling these numbers and I’ll pick up from the phone that’s meant for personal matters.”

Light tucked the list into the top pocket of his flannel shirt. “Why on earth do you need  _ five _ phones?”

“Three for work, one for personal uses, and another for emergencies.”

Just as Light was about to push for a clearer answer, Kamoda’s voice drifted to where he was standing: “Light! I’ll be late for my curfew if we don’t go now!”

Ryuuga gave him a gentle nudge. “Go, Yagami-san. I have a feeling we’ll see each other again soon.”

Light bowed slightly to his new acquaintance. “I look forward to it,” he said, surprising himself by actually meaning it. Then he started walking towards Kamoda and away from the strange boy with five phones, two rings, and a life full of secrets.

* * *

The weekend passed as it usually did. Light did some reading ahead of his next class and cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner for Sayu. Really, as a busy college student, he ought to teach her how to cook for herself, but he had to admit that he liked preparing meals for his little sister. It was what their mother would’ve wanted for them. 

Light had taped Ryuuga’s list of phone numbers to the top of his laptop screen. He’d thought about calling Ryuuga, but every time he tried to think of a good conversation starter, his mind went blank.

Maybe it was for the best. He hadn’t even given Ryuuga  _ his _ number; Ryuuga must have been expecting him to call first. Clearly, he wasn’t as good at reading people as he seemed. Light took it as a sign to just forget about him – he had more important things to worry about. 

He walked to his lecture room on Monday with newfound resolve but stopped abruptly in front of the doorway when he saw what was happening inside. 

A group of girls had gathered by Light’s usual seat; that wasn’t unusual, since they liked asking him for homework answers, but their professor had cut them some slack that weekend. 

What  _ was _ unusual was the person at the center of the group, dressed head-to-toe in white, smirking at one of the girls as he pulled an eraser seemingly out of her ear. 

Light wondered if he was dreaming. 

Ryuuga looked over the girl’s shoulder and waved. It took Light a second to realize that he was waving at _him_. “Yagami-kun! There you are.”

“You know Ryuuga?” one of the girls asked as Light approached the group. 

“...Yeah?” said Light, before noticing her concerned look and forcing himself to sound more certain. “Yeah, we’re friends.”

Ryuuga smiled innocently at him. “I’ve told them that I’m transferring from Darlington Uni for a while.” He got up from his seat and ambled towards Light, hands in pockets. “So, are you going to show me around?”

“I, um…” Well, what did he have to lose? The lecture wouldn’t start for another fifteen minutes, anyway. “Okay, let’s go.” 

Ryuuga being here at the university didn’t surprise him; they’d spoken about it during their first meeting, after all. But Ryuuga being  _ here _ in general, actively seeking Light – he had no idea what to make of that. 

“You didn’t call,” said Ryuuga, jolting him out of his thoughts as they left the lecture room. He didn’t sound hurt or annoyed, just curious. 

Light decided to be completely honest with him. “I wanted to, but I didn’t know what to say.”

Ryuuga thought for a bit before speaking. “I won’t be staying here for long. Four weeks, actually. Not even a month.”

“Oh.” Light tried not to think about the way his heart squeezed at that – tried not to think about the fact that he already felt like he would  _ miss _ a person he’d only interacted with twice in his life. 

“This is new to me too.” Ryuuga let out a frustrated huff, though Light sensed that the frustration was aimed inwards rather than at him. “Would it help if I said that I just want to get to know you and we don’t necessarily have to do that over the phone?”

“Yeah, definitely. Do you have any ideas?”

Ryuuga grinned at him. “Your classmates say you’re a very good tennis player, Yagami-san. How about a match this afternoon?”

* * *

Light had known he’d liked boys since he was thirteen. That had been eight years ago, meaning he’d had eight years to get over the initial period of internalized homophobia as well as several crushes on guys who were devastatingly straight. In short, he’d become comfortable enough with his sexuality to wear it like a second skin; it was an irreplaceable part of who he was.

Watching Ryuuga play tennis now brought back a surge of memories, coupled with that  _ wow, I really like guys _ feeling that had caused him to reevaluate the gender he was attracted to all those years ago. 

As Ryuuga delivered a swift and graceful backhand shot, Light’s eyes lingered on his toned arms for just a moment too long. The ball bounced once into Light’s quadrant and out of the court before he could strike back. 

“Fifteen-all,” said the referee. 

Ryuuga clicked his teeth teasingly. “Sloppy.”

“You wish,” retorted Light, returning to the center of the court with enough annoyance to mask his embarrassment. He wouldn’t let Ryuuga’s gorgeous arms keep him from winning.

Twenty minutes later, a victorious Light strode to the net, offering his hand to Ryuuga. “Good game.”

Ryuuga shook it with a rueful smile. For some reason, he hadn’t bothered to take his rings off for the match. “My pride is ruined. But a bet’s a bet, and I suppose I’ll have to pay up.”

They’d agreed that whoever lost the match would have to buy drinks for the other at the university’s smoothie stand. Half an hour later, they had both showered and were walking away from the stall with drinks in hand. 

“This is quite nice,” said Ryuuga, sipping his strawberry and mango blend. “If I’d known this was what university life was like, I would’ve reconsidered my career choices.”

Light didn’t know why he bothered, but he tried anyway: “What career choices?”

“I can’t really say, but I think I’m allowed to tell you that my work is associated with…law enforcement, to a certain extent.”

Light immediately thought about his father and recoiled. “You work for the police?”

“No. You seem opposed to the police force, though, which is interesting. From what I’ve seen, you have a very strong sense of justice even if you’re not interested in using it in the future – in short, I’m surprised.”

“Well, I’m not really  _ opposed _ to it; it’s just – well, my dad’s a police officer, so I’ve been brought up thinking that the police are the definitive administrators of justice. You just start to question it, I guess. The police can’t do everything, so I don’t understand why a lot of people act like they can.”

Ryuuga tapped his chin thoughtfully, rings glinting in the sunlight. “That’s a good point. Have you ever considered the possibility that the police know this as well? That’s why they hire private detectives to assist them.”

“No, I didn’t know that. Hang on.” The certainty in Ryuuga’s voice suggested that he was far more involved with the police than he had let on. Light could feel the cogs in his brain turning. “How do you  _ know _ all of this stuff?”

“I like you, which is why I’ve told you this much, but there are some things you aren’t allowed to know,” said Ryuuga airily. Light groaned, sensing a pattern: Ryuuga would hint at the truth without fully giving it, and Light would continue chasing answers nevertheless. 

It was frustrating. It was  _ interesting. _ With enough time, Light believed he could end up enjoying it.

At four o’clock, when they had to part ways for a second time, Ryuuga turned to look Light in the eye. “Call me when you get home? It would make an already good day even better.”

Light paused for a moment. Ryuuga’s words had caught him off guard, but they had also sparked a pleasant warmth in his gut. It pooled there for a little while before spreading upwards, to his chest and throat.

“Sure,” he said, thinking that if this was what it felt like to be wanted, he could definitely get used to it.

* * *

He met Ryuuga again.

And again, and again.

They went to bookstores Light mentioned during their calls, or restaurants Ryuuga had always wanted to try. Ryuuga slowly became a constant presence in his life; they texted nearly as much as they talked, exchanging thoughts about a variety of things ranging from trivial matters, such as the flannel-and-jeans outfits Light favored so much, to more serious issues, like the police force.

There  _ were _ cases that the police couldn’t touch no matter how hard they tried, or how committed to justice they were. Light and Ryuuga both agreed on that. But while Ryuuga believed in reforming the system, Light wanted to abolish it altogether. 

They never fought about it, though. It was more of a meeting of minds than a heated debate – a prelude to the more philosophical discussions they’d have when they met in person again. 

Sayu gave up asking Light who the mystery girl was after the fifth meeting, while Souichirou was too preoccupied with work to even notice that his son was going on increasingly frequent outings. 

Light had always resented his father’s absence, but for once, he was grateful for it.

Exactly two weeks after meeting Ryuuga for the first time, Light finished a shift at the pub and left after saying goodbye to the owner. Ryuuga was waiting outside on a bench. He had stretched his legs out across the length of the bench, a backpack propped underneath his head and serving as a makeshift pillow. It all reminded Light of a lounging cat. 

“Hey,” he said, coming over to stand by the side of the bench.

“You’re early.” Ryuuga sat up and crossed his legs at the ankles, knobbly knees bent and jutting outwards. “Do you still need to be home by your usual time?”

Technically, Light didn’t have a curfew; Souichirou trusted him to return home at a reasonable hour. The thought of leaving Sayu by herself, however, was enough for him to impose his own rule – get to his house no later than nine-thirty at night. “Yeah, but we can probably walk a little slower today.”

They did just that, taking the route Light was certain Ryuuga had memorized by now: past the level crossing and through an empty street illuminated only by streetlamps and the glow of the moon. 

Usually, they would have drifted into conversation by now, but something had changed. Though Light couldn’t pinpoint what it was, he decided to let the comfortable silence wrap around the two of them like a blanket. 

Ryuuga slowed to a stop when they neared a directory board bearing a large map. “This looks cool.”

“It’s just a map of the train network,” said Light with a laugh. He tapped a spot, noting the way Ryuuga’s eyes brightened in interest. “You know the level crossing we always pass? The train that goes through there will end up at  _ this _ station in a few minutes.”

“Fascinating. How long have you lived in this area for?”

“My whole life; I’ve never moved. I could probably tell you where all these lines lead to.”

Light pointed to another station. “That’s near my university.” He traced a finger over the corresponding blue route, pausing when it intersected with a red one. “See? My house is around here – it’s conveniently close.”

“I see. And where are we now?”

Light opened his mouth to answer but faltered when he realized that Ryuuga’s gaze was fixed on him. It glittered with far more intensity than usual, as if he was scouring the depths of Light’s eyes for the secrets that lurked there. 

For the second time that evening, Light was struck by the profound certainty that there had been a significant change in their relationship. 

So when he turned back to the map and followed the red line east, sweeping his finger to a little star just off the track – when he felt Ryuuga’s hand cradle his cheek and tilt his chin up – Light didn’t think twice about leaning in and bringing their lips together.

They broke apart a few moments later. Light let go of Ryuuga’s shirt and stepped back, a flush traveling from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. The piercing absence of sensation – from the heat of Ryuuga’s fingers to the intermittent flash of cold from his rings – kindled a concave emotion at the base of his stomach that he could not name.

Ryuuga studied him curiously. The corners of his mouth were turned upwards; Light had known him long enough to learn that this meant he was on the verge of breaking into a grin. “Have you ever kissed anyone before?”

“No,” said Light, looking at his shoes.

“Could’ve fooled me.” 

There was no one else on the street, so as they continued walking, Light tentatively allowed their fingers to brush together every now and then.

After the third time, Ryuuga simply took Light’s hand in his.

Fourteen days, Light thought; they had fourteen days before Ryuuga went back to Europe. He swore to himself that he wouldn’t waste a single one.

* * *

It seemed like they would never run out of things to talk about. Light had always considered himself a person of reasonable but unremarkable intelligence, but speaking to Ryuuga often brought out an element of quick-wittedness from Light that he didn’t know he possessed. 

Even Ryuuga noticed this – but, then again, Ryuuga noticed most things. “You’re not as shy as you were when we first met, Yagami-kun,” he said. Four days had passed since the kiss and they were strolling through a supermarket for no reason at all. “There’s something very passionate about you that you keep hidden most of the time. I really want to see what you’ll end up doing in the future.”

“Civil service,” Light insisted, as he always did. 

Normally, Ryuuga would’ve argued or pressed for justification. Today, however, he just shrugged and let it be. “Snack section?”

The snack section was a relatively safe part of any supermarket, tucked in the furthest corner from the entrance and free from wandering shop assistants. As they walked through the aisles, Light wished they didn’t need to take this precaution, but he knew the facts.

He couldn’t hold Ryuuga’s hand unless they were walking past the directory, hidden under the cloak of night. He couldn’t untangle Ryuuga’s messy hair with his fingers like he wanted to. He couldn’t press a kiss onto Ryuuga’s cheek, or tuck his head into the curve that joined Ryuuga’s shoulder and neck, or look fondly into Ryuuga’s eyes for longer than a few seconds. 

Safety was paramount; they couldn’t afford to risk anything. They were both boys, after all.

(Light sometimes wondered if justice –  _ true _ justice – was creating a world where this didn’t matter at all.)

“You’re staring at my rings again.” Ryuuga’s voice brought Light out of his thoughts, and Light blinked; yes, his gaze  _ had _ fallen onto the little bands of metal on Ryuuga’s right hand. 

“Sorry,” he said.

“Don’t be.” Ryuuga pointed to the silver one on his index finger. “I can’t exactly tell you about this one, but the best way to put it is that it’s hereditary.”

“Wow, that’s nice. And the marble one?”

Ryuuga slid the gold ring off his fourth finger and passed it over to Light. “It’s not marble; it’s cut out from a moth wing.”

Upon closer inspection, he was right. What he had thought was colored marble was actually a circle of fuzz, protected from exposure to the air by a glass cover. “Why a moth?”

“I was in America once. My – ah – colleague likes lepidoptera. So when we found this dead tiger moth lying by the side of the road, he took it back with him and decided to repurpose it.” 

Light handed the ring back to him. “How’d it die?”

“I’m not sure, but my colleague says someone dropped a flashlight on the road, attracting the moth, but a car ran over it soon after.” 

“Oh. It’s funny, the things moths do for light.”

To his surprise, Ryuuga let out a quiet laugh at that. “Yes, it really is.”

* * *

In class a few days later, Kamoda tapped on Light’s arm and asked, “You’re smiling.”

Light immediately schooled his face into a more serious expression. Ryuuga had just sent him a photo of himself posing next to a stray cat – it was impossible not to smile. “Am I not allowed to do that?”

“You never smile  _ this _ much. Are you dating someone?”

“Am I – no, no I’m not.” Light wasn’t sure what Kamoda thought about gay people; they’d never discussed it, always straying from politics or social issues in their conversations.

“You can tell me, if you want,” said Kamoda. The teacher shot them a look and he lowered his voice. “I hope they make you happy, Light.”

“I’m not dating anyone,” Light protested loudly, earning them another black glare from the teacher. They both shut up after that. 

It was only half an hour later, when they left the room and Light ran through the exchange in his head again, did he realize that Kamoda had referred to his potential partner as _they_ rather than _she_.

* * *

The problem with being this happy was that it caused time to dissolve into a bright haze of golden contentment; the two remaining weeks flew by with such speed that even Light knew it was too good to be true.

It was Ryuuga’s last day before he left for Europe, and they still hadn’t talked about their future yet. A small, naïve part of Light dared to hope that Ryuuga would stay in Japan – surely there was  _ something _ in the country’s crooked justice system that could compel him to do so.

On their final walk to Light’s house, he suggested this much to Ryuuga, who shook his head in equal parts fondness and regret. “Maybe one day, Yagami-kun.”

“Will we see each other again?” Light pressed. 

“Yes,” said Ryuuga, with such certainty that Light’s heart leapt. “I can’t say when, exactly, but I promise I’ll make time somehow.”

“Like I said, you could find a case here.”

“I might. But, Yagami-kun, you’re resourceful even if you don’t realize it. Maybe you don’t want to join the police, but never forget that there are other ways of delivering justice to the world.”

Light didn’t know what to say to that, so he just squeezed Ryuuga’s hand and shut his eyes when Ryuuga rested his head on top of his. 

They reached the house next to Light’s and stopped as they always did. Ryuuga whispered something that might have been  _ I have to go now _ before Light circled his arms around his neck and closed the distance between their lips.

The streetlamps above them flickered as they kissed for the last time. Light tried to ignore the emotion pulsing in his chest – of abandonment, of losing the driftwood that had kept him afloat when he didn’t even realize he was sinking – and when they broke apart, he wondered why the people he cared about always ended up leaving him.

* * *

The heavy reality of Ryuuga leaving crashed over him with such force the next morning that Light felt his world skewing off its usual track. His alarm rang later than he thought it would, Sayu was yelling at him to make fried eggs instead of her usual scrambled ones, and when he finally sat up in bed and checked his phone, there were no new notifications from Ryuuga. 

Light thought he would at least _text_. 

Sayu’s voice rang through the house:  _ “Light!” _

“I just woke up!” Light shouted back, tossing his phone onto the bed. “Make breakfast yourself if you’re late!”

“But there’s a guy who wants to see you!”

Protests dying as quickly as they had surfaced, Light rushed out of his room and skidded to a stop by the front door, where Sayu was demurely waiting. Had Ryuuga changed his mind, then?

It wasn’t Ryuuga. 

This man looked at least sixty years old, with round glasses and a mustache that reminded Light of a 1920s detective from a mystery novel. He bowed respectfully to Light, who did the same. “Are you Yagami-san?”

“Yes. And you are…?”

“Watari.” He turned to Sayu and smiled. “Thank you for your hospitality. May I speak to your brother alone, please?”

Sayu hesitated, clearly preferring to listen in, but nodded and left for the kitchen.

“Is this about Ryuuga?” Light asked, once she was out of earshot.

Watari raised his eyebrows at that but nodded. “Yes. He called himself  _ Ryuuga _ around you, eh? I can’t remember the last time he did that…”

_ I was an exception. _ The implications of this cut through Light’s side, stabbing him once again with the concave feeling he couldn’t quite name. “Is he gone yet?”

“Yes, my boy. He took off an hour ago.” Watari let out a long sigh. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. He’s not taking it well, either – won’t eat more than the bare minimum.”

“Can you tell him to call me, maybe?” 

“What a willful request,” murmured Watari. “I’m afraid that’s not possible. If he’d taken a case in this country, then maybe, but you already know he didn’t.”

Light forced himself to breathe as his last thread of hope slipped through his fingers. “I understand.”

“Ryuuga told me you would. He also told me to give you this.” Watari withdrew an envelope from a briefcase resting by his feet and handed it to Light, who opened it and reached in.

A familiar kiss of cold metal greeted the skin of his fingers. His eyes widened as his brain tried to process what, exactly, Ryuuga had given him. 

Watari was looking at him with concern. “Are you alright, Yagami-san?”

In response, Light pulled out the gold ring and held it out to the old man, studying the way the moth wing patterns glittered in the early morning light. He was certain that Watari knew what this was, but the look on the man’s face suggested that  _ Light _ was the one who didn’t understand the significance of it. 

“Both of you continue to surprise me,” said Watari, shaking his head as he picked up his briefcase. He looked almost as dejected as Light felt. “My own flight takes off in a few hours. I’ll let Ryuuga know I’ve done what he asked.”

Light lowered his arm and curled his fingers inwards, so that they formed a protective cocoon around the ring. “Thank you for coming. I—” He looked away as his eyes began to prickle. “I appreciate it.”

“I hope we meet again one day, Yagami-san.” Watari inclined his head respectfully and walked out of the house.

The ring slid easily onto Light’s fourth finger; it was a few millimeters too big, but that wouldn’t be a problem. He remembered what Ryuuga had told him about moths and lights, and wondered if Ryuuga had planned this all along, somehow. It seemed very much like him.

As Light stared at the ring, the strange emotion pulsed through his gut again. It felt like more of an ache rather than a wound now, and when Sayu came over and said he looked like he’d just broken up with his girlfriend, he finally found the right word for it.

It was longing.

* * *

Months passed. University life returned to its usual monotonous cycle, without any tennis matches or smoothie runs to add variety to the routine. 

Kamoda was perceptive enough to notice something wrong with Light, but also tactful enough to avoid talking about it. That was how Light found himself going to more Ichigo Berry concerts and, incredibly, memorizing the lyrics to nearly all their discography.

Sometimes, at night, he thought about Ryuuga and let tears spill out of his eyes. But Ryuuga’s absence was becoming easier and easier to deal with as each day passed, and Light focused on passing his exams and thinking about justice – how it wasn’t implemented properly, if at all, but there was nothing he could do about it.

The Death Note transformed his nihilism into something sharper, more deliberate. The notebook had fallen near the train directory, onto the precise spot where Light and Ryuuga had shared their first kiss, and Light wasn’t sure whether to consider this a divine gift or an ill omen.

Then the shinigami Ryuk had appeared, staring at him in amusement as he ran to the roof of a building and contemplated jumping off the edge. “I’ve been watching you for a while, Light. Your boyfriend told you that there are other ways of carrying out this concept of ‘justice’; why don’t you take his word for it?”

Later, after he returned home and tucked the book into his desk drawer, Light impulsively tried calling the five phone numbers he still stored in his contact list. Maybe Ryuuga would have some answers, or at least some advice.

Each dial petered out into nothing. Very well, then. Kira’s agenda would begin without the only person he wanted by his side.

* * *

Disaster after disaster weighed heavily on Light’s shoulders – a Lind L. Tailor here, a Raye Penber there, a mysterious L looming over it all – and now there was the issue of Misa’s stalker. “Amane Misa’s lifespan only has five days left,” Ryuk had told him. 

That had been five days ago. By now, Misa was definitely dead. 

Light sat down on a flight of stairs in muted sorrow; he thought he’d done well handling Raye Penber on the bus, but it seemed like every victory he earned would be met with a loss. He rested his forehead on the knuckles of his hand. It hurt, and the ring that he still couldn’t find the heart to take off only amplified the discomfort, but this was good. He had to think before he made his next move – before  _ Kira _ made his next move.

His phone rang loudly and startled a swarm of black butterflies into flying away towards the night sky.

_ Incoming call: unknown number. _

An inexplicable sense of foreboding swept through his body as he answered the call, heart hammering in his chest. “Yes, hello?”

A pause, so short that Light almost didn’t register it. “Hello, Yagami Light. Or would you prefer Kira?”

Light’s mind screeched to a stop.

The person on the other line disregarded the silence and continued. “I am L.”

_No._ Light clenched his fists – the cadence, the pitch, the confidence – it couldn’t be— 

“I’m sure you’ve had quite a day with a bus-jacking and everything, Yagami-kun,” said Ryuuga, voice steely. “It’s a shame we have to reunite this way.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you very much for reading! there’s not a lot of death note jdrama fics so i wanted to contribute to the small collection.
> 
> let me know if you’d like a continuation of the story that weaves more tightly with canon events – it’s something i’ve been considering!
> 
> also, the moth wing on L’s ring looks like [this](https://blog.nature.org/science/files/2018/10/Harnessed-Tiger-Moth-by-Ken-Childs-near-Henderson-TN-860x645.jpg).


End file.
